I wrote about why calling trauma victims “brave” often feels like an insult. I also list meaningful actions people can take instead of doling out hollow compliments. Read the rest at TastefulRude.com
THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO IN LIEU OF CALLING A TRAUMA VICTIM BRAVE
At the risk of sounding like an ungrateful bitch, don’t ever call me “brave” for a) having had a life-threatening trauma forced upon me and b) talking honestly and angrily about it.
I’ve had my fill of the compliment.
“Brave” isn’t the compliment that many people think it is. Worse yet, I have a suspicion that some assholes who use the word to describe victims know that.
My brain can tell the difference between a compliment and an insult and I typically feel insulted when people, passive-aggressive cisgender men in particular, call me “brave” for having experienced trauma and for addressing that history in public. The choice to use the word “brave” feels slimy, minimizing, and condescending and I’m going to explain the logic behind my reaction to the word.